For the Love of Ice King
by MangaWitch808
Summary: Ice King is a sick old freak. But honestly, it's not his fault is it? He's freaking crazy! Finn and Jake will have to put their love lives aside to help Ice King find his true battle axe, in order to stop this old man from kidnapping hot princesses.
1. So It All Begins

"Leave her alone you sick old creep!" Finn shouted as Ice King took a punch in the face. Ice King fell to the ground with a thud that resonated throughout the castle.

"I'm not old! And I thought we were friends Finn?" He shouted back, sadly.

"We never were friends! And you're an old fart!" Finn kicked him in the stomach.

"If I'm so old you shouldn't be kicking me so hard!" Ice king tried to fly, but he couldn't muster up the strength. He fell forward, in tears. "All I ever wanted was to find true love…"

"By kidnapping princesses? That's sick man. That's so wrong on so many levels."

"But how else in my old age, as you say, am I going to get a princess to love me?"

"Oh my glob! Ice King, NO PRINCESS LIKES TO BE KIDNAPPED. THEY WILL NEVER LIKE YOU IF YOU KIDNAP THEM! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT? DO YOU HAVE ICE STUCK IN YOUR EARS? You're Mack-tack wicky wow stupid man."

"For reals? What do I do if I want one to like me?"

"How the hellzers should I know?"

"Well you and Bubblegum are pretty serious aren't you? Isn't that why you're beating the shitnitz outta me? 'Cause I'm all up in your girlfriends grill? Trying to kidnap her?"

Finn turned a shade of red that meant Ice King was on to something. But he replied, "That's not it! I—I just hate when you invade these ladies' privacy, kidnapping them and all!" He delivered a fresh kick in Ice King's face.

"Ow Finn! Please, just tell me how you do it. Tell me how you attract all these princesses! Tell me how come they all want to marry you Finn!"

"I—I don't know!" Finn was redder than ever. "For starters, I don't kidnap them! I save them all from the likes of you!"

"So, by making me the bad guy, you seem like the heroic good guy."

"I AM THE GOOD GUY! IT'S ILLEGAL AND MORALLY WRONG TO KIDNAP PRIN—" Finn put his face in his hands in exasperation. "Look Ice King," He finally said after a long pause, "just ask out a princess."

"What if she says no? No one will want to date an old crumbly person like me…"

"Then you just have to bear it man. Just take it."

"How would you know? Has PB rejected you?"

"What? No!"

"So you two have gone on a date?"

"Would you shutup?" Finn shouted.

"I'm just asking! You know, I just want to know the latest gossip. And you seem to know a lot about the subject—"

"I've never asked, alright!" Finn sighed. "I've never asked. I like her, but I've never asked…"

"Well you're the most eligible bachelor in Ooo. She'd probably say yes." The Ice King was right. Finn was young and handsome. He was the strongest hero in Ooo, and he was only eighteen. He had already challenged Billy as the greatest Hero of all time, and most people said he'd take that title by age twenty.

"But what if she doesn't?"

"Her loss. I suggest you—" Ice King was interrupted by Jake, who had knocked him out with an elbow jab. He glanced at Finn, his bro, with a puzzled look.

"Dude, were you just talking with Ice King?" Jake asked.

"Maybe," Finn replied.

"That's weird. Where's the princess?"

"She got loose before Ice King flew over here." The trio were at the plains that marked the beginning of the Ice Kingdom. Ice King had run away after dropping the Princess and was almost home, but Finn caught up to him and knocked the crap out of him. Jake had taken a break to catch his breath. He had taken a long breath.

"So what were y'all talking about?" Jake asked.

"I'll tell you later. Can we just dump this fool's unconscious body off somewhere?"

Jake grew tall and extended his body across the Ice Kingdom to put Ice King in his castle.

"Now tell me. What were you guys talking about?"

"Well, basically the latest gossip…" Finn began as he climbed on his bro's back and traveled home.


	2. Boom Boom Man

Finn told Jake about his conversation with Ice King. Jake seemed to agree with Ice King for the most part.

"Come on man, you had better get Bubblegum before her goods get got," Jake said with intensity.

"But what if she doesn't like me?" Finn replied.

"Dude, _everyone _likes you. If I were a lady, I'd be all over you. And that's not just brotherly love talking. That's my inner lady talking."

"That's weird."

"Should I sing the get a girlfriend song?"

"No, I've had enough of that—"

Jake cut him off and began to sing, "_Finn's had a crush since he was a kid, but he didn't confess as he should've did. He was too afraid and he still is now. He's probably too afraid to milk a cow—"_

"I am not afraid! That's crazy talk!"

"No, this is crazy talk. Akdfj kenrfadkba jkdfnaken jrawebr jkawenrfd'kvl;alnoi ewjanfkda;nfsk 'aeijawon erdsfadf dafdadfeawfdf. See, some of those weren't even letters."

Finn laughed. "I don't know. It's just that I've had this crush on PB since I was younger, but she never really paid any attention."

"Well maybe that's because you were young, and that would be pedophilic. I mean, an eighteen year old and a thirteen year old can't really date, you know? I mean they could, but the police would get involved—anyway, maybe now that you are of age, she's hoping you still like her, and it wasn't just a phase. Because now she's afraid she missed her chance."

"Wow Jake, that makes sense. How come you can understand dames so easily?"

"Well you know, I have a dame of my own. And I have good ears. Ears that can accidentally eavesdrop on gossiping dames. Like PB and Lady Rainacorn."

"Aww dude! That's an invasion of privacy!"

"It wasn't my fault! I didn't mean to, but when I did, I couldn't stop. My ears took control, man. You wouldn't believe."

"That's really janked up to the metro stop man. I wish my ears where as good as that though. Then I could hear all kinds of things."

"Nah, sometimes you hear things you would rather not have heard."

There was a brief silence. "Okay then," Finn continued.

"Well? Watcha waiting for? Go ask out Princess Bubblegum to a spaghetti dinner. You know how much she loves spaghetti. Maybe you'll get a makeout session."

"Come on man, that's not all it's about. It's about love and compassion and mutual understanding. Ain't no true love 'til you've got mutual understanding."

"Just go bro. Before I start rhyming yo."

"Fine, I'll go. But only 'cuz you told me tooooooo..." With that, Finn jumped out the window of their house, did a backflip and rolled safely on the ground. "See you later, Jake-inator." He called from below.

"In a while Finn-denial," Jake replied. As he watched his bro leave, he realized how much the boy had grown. Jake was sort of surprised by this. He whispered to himself, "If mother could see you now, she'd be so happy. You're not just a boom-boom baby anymore. You're a full grown boom-boom man…"


	3. Stomach Ache

Finn had made it to the Candy Kingdom when he began to have doubts. He wanted to turn back, but he knew Jake would never let him live it down. He sighed angrily, "I never should have let him talk me into this. But if I can destroy the Beer Monster, I can ask PB on a date." He took a deep breath and entered the castle.

"Hey PB, are you in here?" Finn asked, hoping she was not.

"Oh," she called from another room, give me a minute.

"I'll count to sixty."

Princess Bubblegum laughed. Then she entered the room. To Finn, she looked stunning. Her pink bubblegum hair was so long that it almost touched the ground. It didn't though, because no one eats bubblegum off the ground. She smiled at Finn, and Finn turned red. "What's up hero?" she began. "Thanks for kicking the sugar-free out of Ice King by the way."

"Uh—uh, it's no problem. All in a day's work, hehehe…" He turned away to hide his strawberry colored face. _Just do it man! _He thought. "I just came to ask you if… um… if you… like to dance?" _Darnnit! Don't back out._

"Dancing? I guess. Although I'd prefer a spaghetti dinner," PB replied pretty quickly.

_Wait, did I just unintentionally ask her out in my attempt to back out? Wazang, that's some jack crazy good luck huh? _"Sure! Tonight at eight? At the fallen tree place?"

"The place you took me that one time when you needed my hair?"

"Um… yeah…"

"Sure. Will you come pick me up?"

"Am I supposed to?"

"Aww. That's adorable Finn." She giggled. "But on a more serious note, I kinda need your help in this experiment I'm doing—"

A loud thumping sound cut her off. They both looked around, puzzled. Finn was about to speak, but Cinnamon Bun flew through the wall.

They both called out, "Cinnamon Bun!"

Cinnamon Bun pointed behind them, and they turned around to see a giant cookie behind them.

Princess Bubblegum gasped, "Oh shi—"

Finn pulled her out of the way as the giant cookie smashed down. "You alright Princess?" he asked.

"Finn this is bad. This is hella bad. That's Mr. Chip! He was having a stomach ache so I tried some experimental medicine on him."

"So you're saying I can't smash in his face?"

"No! That's Mr. Chip!"

"How do you remember all the names of the candy people," Finn asked as he dodged a blow and grabbed on to Mr. Chip's enlarged fist. "I can barely remember my own sometimes."

"Can you just keep him distracted while Science and I make a cure?"

"I'll try, but I don't guarantee I won't put a beatdown on him." Mr. Chip smacked Finn off his fist and flung the boy into a column of the wall.

"What the pa-toot? That hurt…" Then he got an idea. "Hey Mr. Chip, is Mrs. Chip as ugly as you?" Mr. Chip ran towards Finn, but he rolled out of the way, and Mr. Chip took out two other columns, bringing a section of the roof down. The roof trapped Mr. Chip, but Finn had rolled out of the way.

PB came back with a needle. "Now Mr. Chip, this'll only hurt a lot." She stabbed him with the needle, and he screamed. In about a minute, he reverted to normal size.

When he regained consciousness, he looked at Princess Bubblegum. "I apologize Princess," he said. "I don't know what came over me…" Then he stood bolt upright. "Um… where's the restroom?"

PB pointed down the hall.

"Thanks," he said as he rushed down the hall.

"What was in that thing?" Finn asked when he saw the serious look on Mr. Chip's face as he sprinted down the hall.

"A serious laxative," PB replied. "to flush out his system."

"Oh…"


	4. I'm Gonna Try to Ask One Out

A few hours later, Ice King thought about what Finn had said as he sipped soda pop, relaxing on his easy chair. "Just ask one out on a date, huh?"

He drank the whole bottle, and reached for another. Thinking about it was easy. Getting off his lazy butt was hard. "They'd probably say no anyway. And then I'd have to kidnap 'em. Then I've gotten nowhere. Stupid hot princesses. Stupid old Ice King…"

He looked around and saw Gunter playing with his kids. In the last five years, Gunter had found a mate and had two kids. He was happy. Ice king wasn't. "How can Gunter find a battle axe to settle down with before I do? I'm over here writing FanFake while he's mating all around…" Ice King have volumes of Fiona and Cake FanFake that he posted on the Interwebs. Maybe it was creepy. Maybe it was obsessive, but he liked it.

"Where did all the time go? I should have settled down while I was still young…" Ice King barely remembered his youth. That's how old he was. "I was young and blissful. All the princesses loved me… I just never settled down… Now I have to keep kidnapping princesses like the old days. Only it was cool back then." He sighed. "I'll never find love…"

But Gunter approached him and quacked. _C'mon Ice King, you'll find someone. She's probably just invisible to you right now._

"As if…"

Quack quack. _For real man. If I can get married, you can. Trust me._

"Gunter, you must not realize that I'm old and nasty. The princesses do though. And it's them who matter."

Quaaaaaaaack. _Whatever. _Gunter began to walk away.

Ice King leaned back in his chair. "Finn is attractive."

Gunter did a double take. Quack quack quack. _What?_

"He gets all the ladies. Maybe if I acted like him, I'd get more ladies."

Quaackk. _Oh, that's what you meant._

"Yeah. Of course. I'll trim my beard, and act all goody two shoes. And try not to be so creepy."

Quack. _That's probably your best bet._

Ice King got up and went to the restroom. He took a good shower and began to trim his beard. He didn't cut it off, just took a little off the bottom, in case he needed to fly. He put on some underwear and his good robe. Then he combed his hair and made himself look presentable.

"Well Gunter, how do I look?"

Quack. Quaaccccccck. _Decent. _

"Awesome. Well, off I go to try to get a date."


	5. Well, That was a Failure

Ice King flew over to the Candy Kingdom. He had to tell Finn that he had taken his advance about dating Princesses instead of kidnapping them. At least until he got tired of it. Then he'd go back to kidnapping. He flew in through a window and started hollering, "Finn! Finn! Show yourself! I know you're here, with the princess. Probably smooching it up!"

No reply.

"I took your advice and I'm going out to ask a princess out."

No reply.

"I know you're here Finn! You're always here!"

No reply.

"Am I in the right kingdom?" Ice King sat down on a candy chair, broke off the arm rest and began to eat it. "I can just go. I don't need to tell Finn… But he's my bosom buddy… How can I make an important life choice without my bosom buddy? Where is he in my time of need?"

Just then, a candy soldier approached the Ice King. He gazed at him timidly and said, "E—excuse me sir, but um, you can't be here."

"Huh? Why not?"

"The Princess is gone with Finn on a date so we can't have anyone in the castle—"

"WHAT?" Ice King snapped, causing a flurry of snow to appear. "My bosom buddy made a life decision without me? And more importantly, HE LEFT ME IN MY TIME OF NEED? I'LL SHOW HIM!" Ice King froze the soldier and the rest of the west wing of the castle and flew away, crying. "I'll show him to leave me alone in my time of desperate need."

Ice King flew toward the setting sun, not really paying attention to where he was going. In his carelessness, he bumped into someone. "Hey, watch where you're going you dumbas—ah!"

He looked up to see a bright ray of sunshine, which suddenly blinded him, and made him fall to the ground below. He was still conscious, but barely, and he heard someone, a lady, whisper, "Did I kill him?" Another lady replied, "Put him in the chariot and take him to a hospital!"

Ice king felt his body lifted and placed onto something before he was carried away. He tried to speak, "Who are you?"

"Shhh," the voice replied. And he blanked out.

Ice King awoke at some sort of hospital. He glanced around and saw no one. "Hey? Where's my hot nurse?"

Some man came in.

"That's not a nurse."

"I'm Doctor Raybeam, but people call me Ray," he said. "How're you doing?"

"I was fine until something knocked me out!"

That moment, a lady burst through the hospital doors. "I'm sorry I left Dr. Ray. I had to go back and set the sun. It was getting pretty late."

"It's alright," the doctor said. "And the old man is just fine. A little crazy, but fine."

"Oh. Hot." The lady sat down next to Ice King on a chair beside the bed. "I'm Sun Princess, but people call me Sunny. You ran into me as I was setting the sun. I had to turn all the way around to bring you here."

"Oh, it was just you?" Ice King asked.

"What do you mean? I was the only one driving the chariot."

"I thought I heard someone else there too."

"Nope, just me and the chariot."

"Hmm. Wow. Well how about you and me go on a date? Huh? You'd like that?"

"Nightfall! That's ridiculous! I'm the SUN Princess. Aren't you the ICE King? How will that work out?"

The Ice King stared blankly.

"You _are_ that creepy old Ice King the other princesses talk about right?"

"I'm not that old. Or creepy. I can be fun see?" He waved his hand in the air. "Wave your hands in the air! Wave 'em like you just don't care! I'm cool. I'm funky. I'm fresh."

"No, that's lame…"

"Oh… I see." He hung his head in shame. "I guess I should just FREEZE YOU ALL!"

With that, Ice King froze everyone in the room. Then he noticed that they were thawing out. "Oh, I get it now. Ice and Fire. The sun is fire. I get it. Ice doesn't work on fire. I guess I had better go before they unfreeze."

And with that, he left.


	6. I'm Not a Rock

"Did you see the weird sunset?" Finn asked Princess Bubblegum.

"Yes, I don't think that was scientifically possible," the Princess replied.

"But it's magically possible," Finn answered.

PB laughed. They were sitting at the tree were Finn had asked Princess Bubblegum for her hair that one time, eating spaghetti.

"So Finn, why did you need my hair?" Princess Bubblegum asked.

"Some fat, bald witch was sitting on Jake, and she was going to suffocate him unless I gave her Princess hair."

Princess Bubblegum frowned. "But my hair isn't hair. It's bubblegum."

"Oh, yeah, I realized that a bit too late. I ended up giving her my hair."

"So you have princess hair?"

Finn blushed, and Princess Bubblegum laughed. Finn touched his head and said, "No! I have human boy hair. It's just long and silky is all!"

Princess Bubblegum pulled back his hat and stroked his hair. Finn turned crimson.

"It's beautiful." She said.

"You're beautiful," he said. He leaned in to kiss her. She let him. And they kissed for a long moment. Finn thought it felt like forever. But it was just five seconds. Princess Bubblegum pulled back.

"Sorry," she whispered, looking redder than ever.

"It's poobleloobles," Finn said as he kissed her again. When he let go, PB was smiling. Finn noticed he was smiling too. They were quiet for a moment. Finn broke the silence. "I've loved you for a long time Princess."

Princess Bubblegum turned away, "I know. But I didn't realize how wonderful you are when you were younger. I thought of you more like a brother…"

"Really?"

"Duh! I mean, you were thirteen. You were just a kid."

"Oh yeah, Jake said something about pedophilia."

"You'd be surprised at how many people like that kind of FanFake—never mind. The point is you were like a kid. I couldn't take you seriously. Then when you grew up, I thought you had moved on, and wouldn't take me seriously."

"Nah, I'm a pretty serious guy."

Princess Bubblegum laughed. "No you aren't."

"You're right. You know me so well." He kissed her again. This time it was more like making out. Princess Bubblegum wrapped her arms around him, and he stroked her hair.

After their date, Finn and PB went back to the castle in Candy Kingdom, only to see that Ice King had frozen part of it. Finn got angry, but Princess Bubblegum said it was too late to be getting angry.

"Yeah, it is pretty dark," Finn agreed. "I should get home."

"Please do so safely. I can take care of the kingdom." She gave him a goodnight kiss.

Once home, Finn had to spill all the details to Jake.

"So how'd it go? Did you lose anything tonight?" Jake asked.

"Lose something?" Finn repeated.

"It's an adult joke, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Anyway, I had a wonderful time. We kissed."

"You really don't get the joke? Think hard. I bet someone somewhere is laughing their but off."

"You're missing the point! I finally kissed her!"

"Wonderful! So you think this relationship could go somewhere?"

Finn nodded, "I think she's the one for me man."

Jake smiled. "So let me give you the talk."

"Again?"

"It'll help you understand my joke."

Finn thought for a moment. "Aw! Man, why would you ask that? That's sort of lewd man."

"You get it? Aren't I clever?"

"Go to sleep Jake."


	7. I Didn't Lose Anything!

"Did you see the weird sunset?" Finn asked Princess Bubblegum.

"Yes, I don't think that was scientifically possible," the Princess replied.

"But it's magically possible," Finn answered.

PB laughed. They were sitting at the tree were Finn had asked Princess Bubblegum for her hair that one time, eating spaghetti.

"So Finn, why did you need my hair?" Princess Bubblegum asked.

"Some fat, bald witch was sitting on Jake, and she was going to suffocate him unless I gave her Princess hair."

Princess Bubblegum frowned. "But my hair isn't hair. It's bubblegum."

"Oh, yeah, I realized that a bit too late. I ended up giving her my hair."

"So you have princess hair?"

Finn blushed, and Princess Bubblegum laughed. Finn touched his head and said, "No! I have human boy hair. It's just long and silky is all!"

Princess Bubblegum pulled back his hat and stroked his hair. Finn turned crimson.

"It's beautiful." She said.

"You're beautiful," he said. He leaned in to kiss her. She let him. And they kissed for a long moment. Finn thought it felt like forever. But it was just five seconds. Princess Bubblegum pulled back.

"Sorry," she whispered, looking redder than ever.

"It's poobleloobles," Finn said as he kissed her again. When he let go, PB was smiling. Finn noticed he was smiling too. They were quiet for a moment. Finn broke the silence. "I've loved you for a long time Princess."

Princess Bubblegum turned away, "I know. But I didn't realize how wonderful you are when you were younger. I thought of you more like a brother…"

"Really?"

"Duh! I mean, you were thirteen. You were just a kid."

"Oh yeah, Jake said something about pedophilia."

"You'd be surprised at how many people like that kind of FanFake—never mind. The point is you were like a kid. I couldn't take you seriously. Then when you grew up, I thought you had moved on, and wouldn't take me seriously."

"Nah, I'm a pretty serious guy."

Princess Bubblegum laughed. "No you aren't."

"You're right. You know me so well." He kissed her again. This time it was more like making out. Princess Bubblegum wrapped her arms around him, and he stroked her hair.

After their date, Finn and PB went back to the castle in Candy Kingdom, only to see that Ice King had frozen part of it. Finn got angry, but Princess Bubblegum said it was too late to be getting angry.

"Yeah, it is pretty dark," Finn agreed. "I should get home."

"Please do so safely. I can take care of the kingdom." She gave him a goodnight kiss.

Once home, Finn had to spill all the details to Jake.

"So how'd it go? Did you lose anything tonight?" Jake asked.

"Lose something?" Finn repeated.

"It's an adult joke, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Anyway, I had a wonderful time. We kissed."

"You really don't get the joke? Think hard. I bet someone somewhere is laughing their but off."

"You're missing the point! I finally kissed her!"

"Wonderful! So you think this relationship could go somewhere?"

Finn nodded, "I think she's the one for me man."

Jake smiled. "So let me give you the talk."

"Again?"

"It'll help you understand my joke."

Finn thought for a moment. "Aw! Man, why would you ask that? That's sort of lewd man."

"You get it? Aren't I clever?"

"Go to sleep Jake."


	8. Weed or Weed?

Ice King gave up for the night. He fell asleep in a makeshift tent he created with his ice powers. The next morning, he flew past the Kingdom of the Golems, and avoided the Fire Kingdom. Then he flew passed the Money Kingdom and the Breakfast Kingdom.

"I don't want Princesses like that," he mumbled. "I want a little curvy cutie." He flew past Underwater Kingdom too. "Beggars can't be choosers right?" He asked. "I guess I should try every place I see… What do you think?"

No one answered. "This is getting annoying. Answer me!" Still nothing. "Maybe Finn was right. Maybe I am crazy."

Ice King flew into the Flower Kingdom, and landed on a soft batch of primroses. But the primroses didn't like being landed on, because they screamed for dear life. "Oh I'm sorry." Ice King said. He hopped off of them and they scattered.

"So where to?" Ice King thought aloud. He noticed a little daffodil and smiled, slowly approaching her. "Hey little girl. My name is Ice King. What's yours?"

The daffodil backed away. "Um, I don't talk to strangers."

"Oh come on. I don't bite. Get it. Frostbite?" Ice King laughed.

The daffodil backed away farther. "I'm gonna scream."

"Why? I just want to speak to the princess around these parts. Just say hi. Ask if she'll marry me. I'm a really lonely old man."

The daffodil made a weird expression. "Um, that's me… and no. No. I don't want to marry you."

Ice King sighed. "Under normal circumstances, I would have kidnapped you. But I made a promise to a friend, so bye."

Daffodil Princess sighed. "I have an older sister. But she's hideous. You too would make a good pair. No one seems to want to marry either of you."

Ice King jumped up and down, "Oh goody! Do I look okay? Is my hair still nice? I was just fighting a golem so I'm not sure—"

Daffodil Princess walked off and Ice King followed. She led him to a place that was tangled with vines. "This is as far as I can take you. Weeds are bad for flowers. Have fun." Daffodil Princess skipped away. Ice King entered the creepy, tangled forest. It was unkempt and scary, but Ice King didn't turn back. "You still following me lady?" Ice King asked no one in particular.

No reply.

"Why do you follow me if you aren't going to even answer? That like paying to see a movie and closing your eyes the whole time." Ice King walked toward this tower in the forest, because it was too crazy to fly. When he reached the tower, he called, "Hey! Wanna get married?"

Some lady looked out of the tower and shouted, "You wouldn't like me! Thanks for the offer!"

"I'm pretty desperate!"

"Really?" The lady disappeared into the tower and reappeared with some rope, which she threw out of the tower window. "Come up!"

Ice King looked at the rope, and then at the window. He flew to the window. "Hey Lady, I can fly. But do you still want me to climb, because that's more heroic—"

He stopped midsentence, because she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His jaw dropped.

"I told you I was ugly."

"I must really be old, because I think you're pretty."

Her eyes were a deep, mossy green. He skin was green to, but a lighter, cuter shade. Her hair wasn't hair, but a long tangled mess of vines. She looked like a flower, but she wasn't. She was a weed. Ice King could tell because she grew chaotically. But she was curvy, and had innocent round eyes, and a cute chubby face. On top of her head was a bud.

"Is this whole forest your hair?" Ice King asked.

"Yes. And I can't leave this tower, or else I'll sap all the nutrients from the soil. The other flowers would die. And even though my people shun me, I still have to protect them."

"That's sad."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. My life is probably worse."

"I'm sorry." She repeated. Weed Princess sat on her bed. "It's not too bad up here. I can go up to the roof and see the whole of Flower Kingdom. And I always have peace and quiet."

"Sure whatever. So you want to get married or not?"

The Weed Princess laughed. "I can't leave here."

"Why not?"

Weed Princess laughed again. "Because I'm a weed. I'm cursed."

"So If I can uncurse you, then you can come be my queen?"

Weed Princess nodded.

"Give me a moment." Ice King did some hand signs and said a weird chant. Then he stomped on the floor. Nothing happened. "Never mind. Perhaps I can ask a friend for a favor. I'll be back."

And Ice King flew out of the window. As he flew back to Candy Kingdom he said, "Finn's going to be so happy about my good news! Finn is my bosom buddy."

No reply.

"Hey, are you following me because you want to be my mate? Because if you are, you're losing time."

No reply.

Ice King got angry, stopped in midair and began to shoot ice. "Why am I imagining things that aren't there again?" He stopped shooting, and calmed down. Then he flew off again.


	9. This Guy is Really Crazy

_I'm a really lucky woman,_ Princess Bubblegum thought as she styled her bubblegum hair. _Of all the eligible women in Ooo, he loves me! Me! I thought I blew it when he was a kid, but I didn't. Yay! And he kissed me…_

She thought about how Finn had grabbed her with his broad muscular shoulders. When Finn was a kid, he looked like a kid. But then five years passed, and he looked like a handsome young man. He was tall, strong, and had a deep voice. He'd changed so much. Sometimes PB didn't think it was the same Finn she'd known.

And she couldn't believe that her situation had changed so fast. Just yesterday, she was thinking about how her heart skipped a beat every time she saw him, but how she was afraid to bring up anything about romance, because he never did. Then he asked her out, they kissed, and bam… it's official.

_He's the one for me. Lol, love is weird. I'm so happy right now, and it was only a kiss. Imagine if I had—_But her thoughts were interrupted by Ice King, bursting through the window downstairs. Everyone screamed. _Not again! Why doesn't he get it? Why? I don't like him._

"Princess! Oh Princess," he called, "I need a favor from you!"

_Time to test out this new chemical…_ Princess Bubblegum put a strange clear liquid in a squirt gun and ran downstairs. "Ice King!" She called. She had to be violent with this fool sometimes. "Get out now or—"

"Now look, I don't want any harm," Ice King said. "I just need to find a potion to free my girlfriend from her curse."

_What the hellabut is he talking about?_ "Girlfriend?" Princess Bubblegum asked.

"Yeah, it's either this one here," he motioned beside him, "or Weed Princess in Flower Kingdom," Ice King said. "But I'm leaning toward Weed Princess because this one doesn't like to respond to questions. You hear that?"

_This idiot is crazy. There's no one beside him. What's he talking about? I don't believe it._ "Ice King, there's no one there."

"She's there alright. She just doesn't like to show herself. But I can see her," Ice King smiled. "Only I can…"

_Yup. Crazy._ "Listen, I'm just going to ask you to leave."

Ice King shook his head, "But I need to free her of her curse!"

_I think I should just keep him busy until Finn arrives._ "I don't believe you have a girlfriend. No one likes you."

"I guess. No one likes me. But she does." Ice King knelt down beside me. "Please. If you help me, I'll never kidnap princesses again."

_He drives a hard bargain._ "Let's wait until Finn gets here."

"Finn?" The Ice King suddenly got angry. "Oh yeah! You and Finn started getting all cozy without telling me. I heard yall was on a date last night. When were you going to tell me? You are my bosom buddies!" He started shooting ice everywhere.

_I must have said the wrong thing because something snapped in Ice King._ _Should I use the chemical? Yeah._ Princess Bubblegum shot the liquid at Ice King. Before it could hit him, it just disappeared.

"Thanks Babe," Ice King said to the thin air.

_Is there really something there?_ Princess Bubblegum started to back away. Ice King acted like this was all buena (good).

"Can I help myself to your potions?" He asked.

Then Finn came and tackIed King, shouting, "You leave her alone!"

Ice King fought back with furious fury. "Bosom buddy, how can you make life decisions without me? Next thing you know, you'll forget to invite me to the wedding! Then I'd have to be offended and kill you all."

"You're fudging crazy!"

"Finn wait," PB called. "I think he has a girlfriend, and he wants us to help him free her from a curse."

"What?" Both Ice King and Finn asked.

"You just told me that Ice King!" PB shouted.

"Oh yeah." He got up. "Yeah. She's amazing. Her name is Weed Princess."

Finn laughed. Then he stopped, "He's serious?"

_He's so cute._ "Yeah, he's serious."

"So then let's help him. As long as he's not kidnapping or hurting the princess." Finn sheathed his sword.

_He's always so ready to help someone. He'd make a great King and Father._


End file.
